Bidai is a tearful event. Even the girl who has never cried in her life will start shedding tears thinking that she will have to leave her parents’ house. But at the same time it is also the beginning of a new life with new people. In some families bidai happens during morning and in some families it happens before evening. It also depends on the distance between the bride and the groom’s house.
At first Purohit or the priest blesses the bride and the groom chanting Vedic mantras.
Mother of the bride blesses her daughter and son in-law. Bamboo winnow containing oil lamps, egg, sindur, betel leaf is touched on forehead of both bride and groom. Then betel leaf is touched on the cheeks followed by egg. Finally with dhaan-durba (dhaan – husked rice and durba – special grass, Cynadon dactylon) she blesses both bride and the groom.
Father of the bride and other relatives present there bless the newly wed couple one by one and wish them prosperity and happy married life.
The bride gives handful of Dhaan (husked rice) and Haritaki (Terminalia chebula) to mother’s aanchal (border part of saaree).
Similarly mother gives handful of Dhaan and Haritaki to her daughter’s border of shawl/udna which she has to hand over to her mother in-law.
“It doesn’t matter how old her daughter is, to a mother daughter will always remain her precious baby”
Bride and the groom seek God’s blessings before they step out of bride’s paternal house.
There is a tradition of throwing khoi (puffed rice) at the couple’s back when they are leaving the house. Married women make uludhwani. Relatives of the bride throw khoi and the bride cannot look back. I think this is done to prevent the bride seeing her relatives crying. Mother of the bride stays inside the house and does not see her daughter leaving.
“New Life….New Home….Happiness is smiling…Yet…Why? Why is she in tears? She called them Maa, Baba, Bhai….and now…..suddenly all the memories seem just a dream….”
Relatives of the bride accompany her till she gets in the car for her new home.
Bodhu Boron: Upon arrival at groom’s house newly wed bride and groom are warm-heartedly welcomed by her new in-laws. Mother of the groom does arati at the entrance of the house. I can still remember as a kid how much I loved to see a bride when she arrived at her in-laws house. I used to run to that particular house just to have a glance of new bride (notun bou).
Jokes are cracked to cheer up the bride.
Relatives of the groom takes the bride inside the house.
Elders of the family bless the couple.
The couple moves round banana plant seven times.
“Bou bhari” ritual is a very funny one. Both bride and the groom sit on groom’s mother’s lap and as a pre-fixed norm mother has to declare that the bride is heavier than the groom.
Then mother in -law gifts the bride a bangle “Ayastha” or “Loha Badhano” which is a symbol of prosperity of married women.
The bride enters the room after dipping her feet in a lac dye or Alta and rose petals kept in a brass plate. She places her footprints on a white cloth as she enters inside the house. Alta – red in color, is a symbol of fertility and prosperity. Married women adore their feet with alta every thursday (lokkhi baar or the day of Goddess Laxmi) and also on special occasions.
Then the bride is blessed by the elders and gifted with jewellery. The couple is given sweets. The younger relatives chat with the new couple. A new life begins.
0 Comments