In many Indian movies Bengali wedding is depicted beautifully. When it comes to the rituals there are many parts of the wedding and they start long before the
“big day”!
In case of arranged marriage, mediator or in Bengali terms “Ghotok” finds the equal match. On one suitable day (usually a holiday or a day as preferred) both the parties meet at usually the prospective bride’s house. Both prospective bride and the probable bridegroom meet for the first time, exchange some dialogues. In case of love marriage as both of them know each other this part becomes less awkward. These days both the to-be-bride and to-be-groom see each other’s photos on social media, have telephonic conversations and meet outside their home before wedding day is fixed.
Some people check horoscopes too before wedding day is finalised. If both the parties agree wedding is fixed on an auspicious day. This is called “Paka Kotha” or “final words”. Priest finds a suitable day or through “ponjika” suitable date can be found. Parents of both the parties distribute sweets among relatives and neighbours. Usually “uludhoni” (typical sound made by married women) seven times is done to mark the finalization of wedding date.
One auspicious day is fixed for “Mangalacharan”. This word is comprised of two words “Mangal” and “Acharan” which literally means “Auspicious” and “Behavior”. Together it means “To pray to the God before starting the auspicious work”.
Some people prefer “Mangalacharan” date to be as close as possible to wedding day. Some people have “Mangalacharan” ceremony few months before wedding day. Early in the morning the bride takes shower and offers prayers to God for her new endeavor. As per the prefixed time she gets ready. These days due to photography and social media influence the bride gets ready with the help of professional make-up artist.
Purohit (the priest) arrives at bride’s house at scheduled time.
“Mangal ghot” and other essential items for “puja” are kept at one place where the bride will be blessed. Beautiful rangoli (art) is made where the mangal ghot is kept.
Then elderly persons from bridegroom’s family come to the bride’s house to bless her. Purohit recites Vedic mantras and performs other rituals.
Elder guests bless the bride with “dhaan” (rice grains with cover) and “durba” (grass Cynodon dactylon with first three blades).
“Swarna-bostro” (Gold and cloth – usually saree) from bride groom’s side are must for this ceremony. Other than these the bride is also gifted with other ornaments/beauty products/sweets and many more items now a days as per the economic status of the bride groom’s family. This is called “Tatwa“. Fish is the symbol of well-being in Bengali culture. So the bride groom’s family members bring a fish (usually Rohu or Rui fish – Labeo rohita) to the bride’s house. But sometimes sweet item carved in fish shape is also brought.
After all the rituals are over, it is time for “bhuri bhoj”/food.
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