Holding Dorpon and Lokkhir bhandar: On the day of wedding the bride holds a small round brass object called “dorpon” and small wooden “Lokkhir bhandar” or Goddess Laxmi’s pot. “Lokkhir bhandar” symbolises women being the good luck charm for prosperity in the family. The groom also holds “dorpon” from the beginning till end of wedding ceremony.
Remembering ancestors: The wedding ritual begins with remembering all God and Goddesses and ancestors at the “mandap” seeking their blessings. This is done both by the groom and father of the bride (or any male elder relative of the bride who will do “kone samprodan”). Name of previous atleast 5 male ancestors (father, grand father, great -grand father etc.) and gotrom or gotra of the family is required for this part.
Boro Jamai Boron and Potto Bostro: Father of the bride at first gives clothes to the eldest son in-law in his family. It is called “boro jamai boron”. This ritual symbolises that son in laws who previously made relationship with the bride’s family will always be loved. Then the father gives clothes like dhoti, panjabi, shawl etc. in presence of the priest or “purohit” to the soon to be son in-law. This is called “potto bostro”. The groom has to change his earlier attires and sit for the wedding ceremony wearing the clothes given by the bride’s family.
Taking the bride to Kunjo: Relatives of the groom takes the bride from her mother after giving gifts (“kone pon”). Previously groom’s family used to take the bride after giving all the jewellery and the cost required for the wedding. But now this is only a symbolic ritual. This is a very emotional moment for all the mothers.
Entry of bride & Kunjo Rituals: The bride is accompanied by sister in laws, friends and other relatives who take her to Kunjo. Groom awaits for his partner in a chair. At first home made kajal (made on green side of banana stem) is applied on eyebrows of the groom.
Kunjo Rituals: The bride puts sandalwood paste on his forehead. One betel leaf is rolled on his face 🙂 An egg (raw) is touched on forehead of the groom and then the egg is smashed outside the Kunjo immediately. Book and pen are also touched on forehead of the groom. Finally dhaan-durba (dhaan – husked rice and durba – a special grass) is given above the “topor” and all the married women present nearby the kunjo make “uludhwani”.
Arati: During earlier days people used to harness oil from jatropha seeds for wedding rituals. Now-a-days due to scarcity in many areas both jatropha seeds and oil-lamps are used for wedding. Oil-lamps are moved round the groom (it is called “arati”).
Offering flowers and Saat Paak – Part-1: The bride carries a small basket of flowers (“phooler saaji”). The bride moves round the groom seven times. She offers flower petals to the groom after completion of each round.
Mala Bodol: Mala bodol or exchange of flower garlands is a common wedding ritual in most of the Indian weddings. This symbolises bond for eternity and it is the first step towards accepting each other as man and wife. In Bengali wedding at first the bride gives her garland to the groom. It becomes very fun when the groom is taller as she has to put her garland in a tricky way. Mala bodol is done seven times (in some regions three times) both by the bride and the groom.
Shubho Dristi: Until “mala bodol” bride and the groom cannot look at each other (In some regions of Bengal the ritual is opposite, that is, “mala bodol” is done after “shubho dristi”). After exchange of garlands or “mala bodol” bride and the groom look at each other for the first time during wedding ceremony. This is called “shubho dristi”. In some regions this is done after “saat paak” on “pidi” when the bride removes betel leaves from the front of her face and looks at the groom.
Kori khela: Bride and the groom sit on “paatti” or thin bamboo mat. Kori or the Shells and dhaan or husked rice are mixed in a pot. Both the bride and the groom get the chance to throw. If the bride throws the groom has to collect them again in a pot.
Somprodan or Kone Somprodan: “Kone somprodan” means giving daughter in the hands of a suitable life partner. Bride puts her right hand over the groom’s on “Mongol ghot”.
The priests binds the palms by a particular type of grass. The bride and the groom have to sit in this position until “kone somprodan” is over.
The priest chants mantras and then covers the palms with a sacred cloth or “gamchha”. Father of the bride chants mantras along with the priest giving away his precious daughter to the best man 🙂
Offering khoi or puffed rice/ Anjali part-1: After “kone somprodan” the priest (sometimes brother of the bride) gives puffed rice or “khoi” in the hands of the bride. The groom has to support the bride holding her hand. They chant mantras in front of the “yagna” or holi fire. Then the couple returns “khoi” to the priest.
The priest offers “khoi” returned by the couple to the God of Fire.
Anjali Part-2: The bride and the groom chants mantras after the priest. They offer puffed rice or khoi to the God of Fire (this time they offer khoi themselves instead of giving khoi to the priest for offering). This is called “anjali”.
Saptapadi: The bride puts her big toe on rice flour (kept in little quantity on household grinder made of stone or “pata or shil”) chanting mantras after the priest in front of the yagna. “Pota or nora” or the instrument for pasting is kept near “pata or shil”. This is done on seven sequentially placed rice flour. In some regions betel leaves are used instead of rice flour.
Then Bride and the groom separately chant mantras folding their hands.
Then the couple sits in front of the yagna. The priest chants specific vedic mantras pouring ghee, aghur etc. Then the couple chants after the priest.
Saat Paak – Part-2: The bride follows the groom and moves round seven times around cut banana plants (stem with the leaves). Four banana stems are placed in rectangular position for “saat paak”.
The groom holds little finger of the bride and completes “saat paak”. In some regions the bride is carried on low wooden stool “pidi” by her brothers. She moves round the groom seven times sitting on the “pidi” hiding her face with two betel leaves.
Angti Khela: Angti or finger ring is kept hidden by both the bride and the groom in a small pond alternatively for three times. The other has to find the ring. This ritual involves lots of fun as many times neither the bride nor the groom finds the ring and it is lost for ever. Friends and relatives eagerly awaits for “angti khela” results and tease the one who finds the ring lesser time saying he/she will have to obey the other one for whole life.
“Sindoor daan” or placing vermilion on upper forehead of the bride is done in some families on the day of wedding and in some families it is done during “bashi biye”.
Juto lukano: It is not a wedding ritual but younger brothers and sisters of the bride hide groom’s shoes during wedding ceremony when the groom is busy in performing rituals. Later bro-and sis- in-laws demand to pay for the shoes 🙂
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